This is my first post! I'm 4 weeks postpartum and loving every minute of my beautiful baby boy. That said, WTF is the deal with breastfeeding? Why did NOBODY tell me how hard it was going to be? And why is the world so judgmental when it comes to breastfeeding??
My labor and delivery was "fast" (only about 8ish hours in active labor) but still felt like a lifetime. My son was born without any medical interventions or complications. One could say it was a smooth labor. Once Desmond was born, I fell in love. He was placed on my chest immediately, and my fiance and I sat exchanging love and kisses with him for over an hour. When it came time to feed, the nurse helped him latch on... Um. OUCH. But she said pain was normal, so I went with it. So right off the bat, breastfeeding was not what I had imagined it would be.
I spent 2 days in the hospital and fed Desmond every 3 hours as planned, but every single time he nursed I was in so much pain! Like pinching, biting, stinging pain. I had several different nurses assist with the latch all throughout my stay and they all gave me the green light that everything was fine. So I chalked it up to "letting my nipples toughen up".
Once we got home, the breastfeeding experience only got worse. Desmond would scream anytime I'd put him in a nursing position. I was able to get him to root and latch after a couple tries but the pain was still there and not getting any better. In fact, every single feeding was so painful I was in tears most of the time. I noticed after 2 days that my nipples were cracked and bleeding and extremely sore. After many bouts of crying and feeling completely incompetent we decided to supplement with formula for a day and meet with an LC immediately. When the first LC came to our house, Desmond refused to latch on at all. He was either very sleepy or very pissed off. After 2 hours, we ended up pumping what little milk I had and finger/tube feeding him. We did this for 2 days straight and it was exhausting.
The second LC came out and actually diagnosed Desmond with tongue-tie and a tense jaw. We got his frenulum clipped the next day and were told that he could start nursing right away. My first attempt at nursing after the procedure was worse than before. He clamped down so hard on my nipple that I screamed in pain and cried from exhaustion. We decided to take a 3 week break from breastfeeding and attempt again when Desmond was 1 month old. I've been exclusively pumping and bottle feeding for 3 weeks now.
So my intro to parenting ended up being nights of crying and frustration, and this hollowing feeling of failure. Speaking of failure, no woman should ever feel this way if she can't nurse her baby! I'm so pissed that the world is so opinionated if you don't breastfeed when there are so many challenges that are unique to every woman. Every woman and baby has a different body, and breastfeeding is NOT a universal practice. It takes some getting used to (which is like the only advice I ever read before Desmond was here BTW), but it is not always the right choice. If I'm in agony, upset, and stressed out, it's probably not best for me to continue to nurse my baby. I'd rather be a happy mommy and bottle feed vs. be a crazy freak and breastfeed.
To each their own and remember ladies, you're the mommy, you know what's right for you and your baby.
Here are some links where you'll find some resources for alternative feeding methods. And if you haven't yet heard of kellymom.com check it out. I spend like 37459 hours a day on this website! Good luck mamas!
Share your thoughts and experiences! XOXO
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